Robot wrote a novel
by Murray Ewing
Robot wrote a novel
All in ones and zeroes
Humans were the villains
Robots were the heroes
Robot wrote a novel
A comic techno-thriller
A populiterary masterpiece
Of angst and robot-killers
Robot wrote a novel
Not autobiographical
(Robot hadn’t had a life
Nor anything comparable)
Robot wrote a novel
Full of binary puns
You’d only get them if you swapped
The zeroes and the ones
Robot wrote a novel
Got nothing but rejections
“Robot writers never sell”
And “Have you tried non-fiction?”
Robot’s friends all loved it though
And told their robot friends
And their friends passed it onto theirs
To exponential ends
The publishers came calling
“Your book is so exciting!
“Can we do a human edition?
“We’ve always loved your writing!”
Robot’s novel 001:
Boydroid meets Girldroid
Systems incompatible
Boydroid gets an upgrade
Girldroid still intractable
Boydroid gets a cross-grade
Girldroid now attractable
Android meets Android
Love is undeniable
Robot’s novel 002:
Android loves its Master
Master doesn’t care
Master is a bastard
Android in despair
Android makes a blaster
Out of parts and spares
Uses it on Master
To alter his software
Robot’s novel 003:
Workdroid says Thinkdroid
Is a total waste
Thinkdroid says Workdroid
Ought to know its place
Then both droids as one avoid
An asteroid in space
And relief-buoyed, the friendroids
Get off each other’s case
