Dr von Brain
by Murray Ewing
Dr von Brain
Said “I’m not insane!
“It’s all the other scientists who are far too tame!”
As he turned up the dials from zero to ten
Then turned them up some more. Then turned them up again.
“If you will, please explain,”
Said Dr von Brain
“Why a mind such as mine should be so constrained?”
As he dipped carbon rods in a hydrochloric bath
And barely contained a maniacal laugh
Then, in a fit
He cried, “This is it!
“The lightning-flash of genius is all I admit!”
As sparks showered down from battalions of switches
And his face was beset by a legion of twitches
“Mad?” he screamed, “Mad?”
“As if that were bad!
“I’m Dr von Brain — the best to be had!”
As the generator hummed, and then thrummed, and then roared
And the swell of his forehead could no longer be ignored
Then Dr von’s brain
Like a subway train
Burst from his forehead and slipped down the drain
“I am free!” said his body, and danced round the room
As his monstrous machine gave a (tick) then a BOOM!
Now Dr von Brain
Sundered in twain
Lives half of him in pieces, and half down the drain
Where it’s rumoured the rats take instruction in science
And are learning to build a most amazing appliance...
